America is worth more than the sum of its parts

First, I want to say thank you to Donald Trump. No, seriously, I want to thank him for taking the time to come back and kill our pretense of a democracy. While we were all limping around, our bleeding hearts liberally coloring the snow red, Trump came back with an old rusty hammer and sickle to finish the job. Oh, and he brought his oddball sidekick: an amateur assassin with a ketamine addiction and another fragile ego.
By the time the DOGE dust settles, and congress gets around to orders of impeachment, there may not be enough government even left for triage… Entire departments are starting to look like a Valentine’s day box of chocolates this time of year, mostly empty with a few odd nutty ones left in the bottom second layer.
But the good news is that we can— and we will— rebuild this country. America will not be destroyed and sold for parts. We are a melting pot of brutal work ethics, extensive opportunity, and an earnest joie de vivre; a country full of myriad talents: farmers, mechanics, scientists, and paramedics, to name a few. We’re like one of those museum paintings that look so good from a distance you wish you could teleport there, to actually be in the picture, but when you get up close you see we’re just millions of different colored dots.
So, if it’s going to be a straight-up barnfire and we’re willing to torch everything so we can rebuild from scratch, then we’ll be the ones to pour the gasoline and light the match, thank you very much. Not some wacked-out wannabe who brings a chainsaw to a blowtorch fight. The lunacy of the first six weeks of this administration was apparently just what Dr Pepper ordered: a familiar flavor with enough caffeine to wake us from our slumber.
The last time I had a Dr. Pepper was probably 1987, while sitting on the bleachers watching the American Legion softball team play the VJ/VS* All-Stars. Those innocent memories are what all the politicians are trying to sell: a sunny summer day, good clean fun in the grass and dirt, a little healthy competition between friends. America at its best. In the 1980s you could easily find Republicans and Democrats playing on the same team, but nowadays? Not likely.
We are a nation divided, and not by the important issues, if you ask me. For the most part, we all want the same things out of life: healthy family, good food and shelter, a ball game of some kind to cheer for. Is it maddening to watch our neighbors come home from work with groceries for their kids? No, it’s the little things that really get under our skin and make us hate each other. Things like whether or not a transgender athlete can compete in women’s sports. Seriously? This is why we’re going to burn it all down?
Okay, but I think I have a solution. What if we just add a category to sports, complete with its own separate restroom? For instance, we’ll have a medal for men’s curling, one for women’s curling, and one for any/everyone who wants to curl against any/everyone else. We could even name it for Andy Kaufman, don’t ya think? Anyone who wants to compete is welcome, and the winner will be the Inter-Gender Wrestling Champion of the World. I don’t mean to sound patronizing about this— okay, maybe a little bit I do, but c’mon! Enough is enough with pointing out our differences to each other as we all starve out in the cold. The richest guys in the world have taken our beer and hot dogs into their clubhouse and completely locked us out. It’s time to light it up and warm our hands on the flames.
If we all call Congressional members out and protest the actions of this administration, we can come back from the brink. And this time, while building our barn of democracy, we will have the experience to make the government actually work for us, instead of billionaires and their pet CEOs.

Barn’s burnt down–
now
I can see the moon. -Mizuta Masahide

*Valley Journal/Village Smithy